We've Got Seoul

source: naturewallpapers.biz

Ahh spring is upon us.  With it comes lovely cherry blossoms, the start of a new academic year, new people to Korea, yellow dust, the beginnings of mold, the start of sweaty summer and mosquitos.  You may be asking “What does this have to do with me, the newbie in said country?  I’m hear to learn about the culture, the people, the food, the drink, the language.”  Yes, well, when you’ve had a full day of that and you want to come home and get comfy, only to realize that the apartment that your hogwan promised is a dump and no one is willing to help you out you may think about this post.  Here is my list of things that you really need to be comfortable and ergo happy.  Disagree if you want, but trust me, your mom would agree that you need this shit.

If you’ve been here through winter, then I trust that you are now putting this away:

And dusting off this:

First off, a few known items.  Electricity in Korea is expensive and most likely you will be footing the bill for it.  Not only that, you know you should try to conserve power.  Although it may not feel like it these past few days (it was -1 this morning) she is about to get hot.  Really freaking, sweat on the back of your legs and on top of your knees hot.  If you don’t have an air conditioner start weeping.  Haha.  First, ask you school kindly, to get one.  It will most likely take them weeks to get it done so go out and get yourself a fan.  Don’t be cheap.  Trust me, you will need this that first night that it starts to get warm; when you feel the energy of the night, the Korean food in you belly, the pull of your first ‘real night out’ to have fun and drink — when you inevitably say “Sure I’ll drink sojo.”  Secretly thinking to yourself that although it tastes shitty that the effect can’t be that bad, hell you just got out of university and drank your face off all the time, you can handle this.

Anyhoo.  Get the fan.  Your sweaty, pain filled, garlic smelling head will thank you later.

Now let’s talk about that bathroom.  I’m sure that potentially you are freaking out because of this:

Yes, that is your bathroom.  No, there is no shower door, or curtain or tub.  Relax.  At first, super annoying as everything gets wet.  Things get better as you learn to twist yourself around, not raise your elbows too high, and actually go out and purchase some 3M hooks to hang your towels on the back of the door.  But then you notice that it is awfully dirty in there.  You go to the store and buy some local brand of cleaner only to find that it does NOTHING and start to find this:

(I gagged a little with this picture – you should see the others I found… eeeeewwww full body shiver).

Here’s the thing, in Korea the home is considered to be an almost sacred place, and therefore should be cleaned DAILY.  (I’ve been told that the reason why Koreans shower at night is so that they go to bed clean, to maintain the “at home clean” phenomenon) As in, get out the mop and bucket and scrub that shit down every day.  Hence, what I can only assume is the reason why cleaning products are about as powerful as your spit.  Now you could head out to the store and purchase some internationally recognized brand but it just isn’t worth the money.  (I saw a bottle of Clorox bleach for almost $30!).  The stuff I buy is in a green bottle and says in huge letters “Mold Remover” with a lovely font that will make you want to clean.  Spray that everywhere. I mean it.  The walls, ceiling, toilet, behind the sink and get a sponge and scrub that down and then rinse it with scalding hot water.  You do know that mold, particularly black mold, causes cancer and is airborne, don’t you?.  Stay on top of it.

Excellent, clean bathroom, life is good again.

Next we need to address the mosquito issue.  I can already attest to having 2 bites as of March 31st.  There isn’t much that helps.  There are the poison plug ins

which, although they work, you can feel minutes of your life also being sapped away when you breath that crap in.  Others purchase the electric swatters but personally at 2 AM I don’t want to be bothered.  I turn this on for about 1 -2 hours before I go to bed and then just hope that I don’t get too many bites during the night.  You’ll see loads of these on sale soon.  You first need to purchase that white plug in part and then also the poison itself.  Then you can buy refill poison as you like.  Any brand will do, they all stink.

Also with spring comes the lovely yellow dust.  If you have asthma, go home, go home now.

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If you listen to the radio or read the newspaper you will see advisories suggesting to wear masks.  Most often you will see ones like this:

Let it be known that this is useless.  You might as well tape a pair of underwear to your face and save yourself the cheek impressions from the hard plastic.  No my friends, if you really want to protect your lungs I suggest something like this:

I have this one from MEC (Mountain Equipment Co-op).  I originally bought it for driving my scooter in Taiwan and will admit that I haven’t actually worn it on the streets here (I obviously prefer the hacking, soar throat approach to life).

Next comes the rain!

I have never actually seen someone wearing this but would pay to do so!  HAHA evil laughter of forcing my own potential children, or those of friends! to wear one.

Right, back on track.

It rains, the wind blows, it makes the rain come at you from all directions.  IE don’t buy this type of rain coat, it won’t help.

One final thing to prepare you for summer:

It’s a fan that can also spray water – you really have no idea how sweaty you’re going to be here….

My final tip to help you is to buy this:

Yes, a vaccum.  I know it seems excessive but the dust is insane here and buying one of those noname swiffer things is such a waste for the environment.  I suppose if you are only here for a year you may not care that much but for those of us here for a while, it is too handy not to own.

That’s it.  That is realistically what Korean’s are talking about when they tell you about the 4 seasons.  Do you have anything you want to add?