It’s been about a year since I’ve had a small class (meaning anywhere from 1-3) students and I forget how the dynamic of the group changes because of it.
I very much just want to go in, teach the material for the day and get out. I have a very hard time talking about feelings and coping with some of the issues that students have discussed with me because I can’t stop thinking about it after the class is over.
I have heard some of the most heart wrenching stories of pain, fear, loss, sadness, joy and I can’t get them out of my heart or out of my head and so would rather not develop an emotional attachment to my students. Let’s have some laughs and learn some English and call it a day. But I never get what I want. I know the reason that people tell me is because they feel comfortable telling me these things but sometimes …. ugh.
My job is to make people talk so I’ve become quite good at asking questions and getting conversations started but for some reason (not sure if it’s a respect thing, an ESL thing or just that they need to talk) students tell me everything.
I’ve been told about employees being kidnapped and held for ransom (Venezuela), best friends brutally murdered (Korea/Canada), personal stories of women working in almost the sex industry and finally being able to leave (Japan), drug addictions, theft and jail time (Switzerland), white supremacist membership due to violent beating (Switzerland), thoughts of suicide due to being ‘different’ (Taiwan). I think you get the idea.
Maybe it’s because I’m a ‘cold’ Canadian and it just isn’t in my culture, that coupled with I’ve never had anything really terrible happen to me, but I generally don’t know how to react and so smile and end up encouraging people to talk more!
I’ve had students almost crying because they are sharing such personal information with me. I always tell them “We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t feel comfortable.” You know what their answer is? ”I feel better to talk about it.” hmmm, okay, well, I’m about to cry, so could we stop???? No, alright, keep ripping my heart out, I’ll be okay. THEN, how on earth am I supposed to make a transition back to doing class work….
Yes! I have experienced that too, and never know how to make that transition back to teaching the present tense form of the ‘be’ verb. I think some of our students need to open their minds to the idea of therapy. Seriously.
I’m glad you said that because sometimes I feel like a jerk thinking “Eek, you should be talking to a professional about this issues.”